Nakvamdis T’bilisi

Nakvamdis T’bilisi (ნახვამდის თბილისი) means “goodbye T’bilisi”.   On August 10^th 2011, I gave a fond farewell to Georgia - a small country that I have called “home” for many years to move on and accepted a position in Afghanistan (a place that I hope I never learn to call “home”).  I plan to update more about Afghanistan during me time there.  

But this isn’t only a time of transition for me. The two eldest daughters have moved to the United States to go to middle and high school.  Hopefully, in the US they will better their English and gain a better understanding of the world and expand their horizons…hopefully.

This was an important and difficult step for us all to take and was only compounded by the actual leaving the country. 

To explain.  Most international flights departing from Tbilisi leave at 4 or 6 o’clock in the morning – something that I despise.  No -  really.  I hate it with a passion because now people (more to the point “I”)  have to arrive at the airport 2 hours in advance to check in and get through security etc.  The emotional build up is a bit schizophrenic to say the least.  I mean, at 2am, I am tired and truly want to sleep and my body and brain are having a test of the wills communication session.

“hey man, let’s just rest a few minutes” my legs whined

“no, no” the brain says “keep active – no falling asleep now”

“but just a bit…just for a minute” the eyes droop down

“What did I say?” the brain sternly responds

“la la la la, we’re not listening!” the ears sing out blocking all sound

“What is this? Dissension?  Tongue, did you have anything to do with this?” the brain screams “You there, hands, you seem idle.  Start slapping to keep order!”

“well, we don’t really know about that.  It could be painful and do damage.  How about just a tap like this?” hands patting the cheeks

“What is that?  You guys powdering a baby’s bottom?  I said slap!”

“but…but…”

“DO IT!!”

“well…ok”

SLAP SLAP

“What the hell is going on?!” the eyes scream “who did that?” angrily looking around “did you hands do that?”

“We were just following orders” they whimpered

“that’s the last time we’re guiding you, you bastards!  Hope you like feeling your way through life”

“Hey, I hate to interject” the brain jumps in “but we’ve got things to do so no lying down on the job.  Now lets get to the airport!”

Getting to the airport…now there is a simple task.  In fact, to avoid any problems we made arrangements with a taxi driver beforehand. We had a guy that claimed that he could take all 10 of us (3 departing and 7 seeing us off)  and the 6 large pieces of luggage to the airport and take them home.  How he planned to do this, I’ll never know and will never learn as at the last minute, he couldn’t show up.  But of course!  A simple plan can never be put into action.

To recap, it’s now almost 2am and we need to be at the airport ASAP, our taxi cancelled out and we need to find one or two more that can take us all there, but we live in a residential area where many taxis don’t happen to be waiting around looking for customers at 2am…ok, panic time for Jason!

So Giorgi (niece’s husband), Roma (nephew-in-law) and I run outside to look for a taxi or two that can take us all to the airport.  Luckily, we found an old Mercedes that was willing to do so (YAY!).  Plus, he said he would take everyone to the airport in two trips, wait for people, and take them home all for half the price that the other taxi was charging us (and listening closely I could hear harps play as the clouds parted allowing the heavens above to bestow their greatness and good fortune upon us.)

 So we pack four of the six bags and the girls, the grandmother, the nephew-in-law and I jump in the car!  Doors locked!  Belts on! “Onward to the airport my good man and make it snappy!”

The chauffeur jumps in, puts the keys in the ignition, turns them and we hear a mighty…whrr, put, put, sputter, put, dead silence.  He tries again.  Same result.  Looking at the clock I saw that it was then 2am.  “The airport! We must make it to the airport!  Come on! You can do it my mighty mechanical steed!  Just get me to the airport.” And as though car understood, it started.  “Hurrah! Go speed racer go!” and we took off at a fast and furious pace of…walking speed.

“uh…we need to get to the airport…like now” I impatiently look at the chauffeur

“yes, yes, I know.  We’re going” he responds leaning over the wheel as though we are traveling at some sort of super velocity

“Yeah, but could we go a little faster.  It’s past 2am and we need to be at the airport NOW” I insisted

“Ok, ok, ok” and he gives it a bit more gas

“Well, this is odd” I thought.    But here we go, down the hill, left turn, right turn, still coasting more on the momentum of going down the hill than giving the car gas, edging towards the next corner and slowly turning left…

“whoa! Where are we going?” I panicked “The airport is THAT way” pointing the other direction

“yes, I know, but I need to do something”

“you NEED to do something?!  Yeah, I know what you NEED to do.  You NEED to take us to the airport and chop, chop!  Let’s go!  What else do you NEED to do now?” and that’s when the car stopped…on its own.

“I NEED to get gas”

“DOH! Why didn’t you get gas before you came to the apartment?”

“I thought I would have enough to get it from your apartment”

“Well you thought wrong, my friend” I mumbled under my breath

Evidently, when the clouds parted as I mentioned earlier, it wasn’t for the heavens to bestow good fortune upon us, but instead for the Gods to have a quick giggle before our departure.  So we all (three teenagers, one grandmother, myself and the chauffeur got out and PUSHED our taxi to the nearest gas station which mind you would have been considerably easier if we didn’t have all of our luggage weighing us down.

So as we waited for him to get gas, I’m sitting in the car sweating from the impromptu workout and heart racing from watching the clock.  “This thing better have hyper-drive baby! ‘cause we have little time to spare!”

By the time we made it to the airport, I almost jumped out while the car was moving and started barking orders at everyone like a German tank commander.

“Sie da! (at Maria) run to the counter and make sure they don’t close on us! Gehen schneller!  Sie! (at Madonna) get out of the car now! Raus! Raus!  Help grandmother! Sie (at Roma) toss me the bags from the trunk!  I don’t care if they’re heavy.  A hernia never killed anyone!  Sie (at the chauffeur) I assume you have enough gas now so go get my family and bags! SCHNELLER!”

My God, I was this ugly BEFORE the flight

Now I don’t actually speak German, but can tell you that it seems to come in times of need and truly is the language of commands and orders as it comes from the gut.  Bellowing “RAUS!” snaps people to attention, whereas clapping your hands and screaming in French “Vite! Vite! Tout suite” just makes you look like a hyperactive choreographer. And if you ever try it in Italian, the only response you get are the finger pistols, wink and “click, click, ciao!”

But we made it.  The others and the rest of our luggage eventually show up.  We checked in.  We went through passport control. We get on the plane.  The brain is happy.  NOW we can rest….but, hello? What’s this?

“movies on demand?” my eyes gleamed

“no, no – no movies, you wanted to sleep and we can” my brain reminded

“is this a game console?” my hands began to fumble with

“hey! Put that down!” the brain argued “none of that now!”

“music?  How many works of music are on this thing?”

“it doesn’t matter because you won’t be listening to any of it!” the brain warned

“I bet they have wine with the meal” the stomached rumbled.

“look here!” the brain screamed “we have a long flight ahead of us and we need to rest.  I don’t understand this.  You all wanted to sleep before and now all you want to do is stay awake!”

“but now there are games, movies, music and food and drink!” the shouted back in chorus

By the time we actually arrived in the States, I had seen several movies, played several games, listened to hours of music and had a couple glasses of wine and this to “relax”.  I looked and felt like someone had just beat the tar out of me.

But I’m in the States and will update all from here.  Let the games begin.