In early 2004 I was working in Tbilisi, Georgia and the organization that I was working for scheduled a conference/retreat in neighboring Yerevan, Armenia.
It is important to note that at that particular time the roads in Georgia leading to Armenia were old, unmaintained and generally…bad. Like potholes that would swallow a car sort of bad. Drivers would dangerously swerve into oncoming traffic risking life and limb to avoid a pothole that would completely destroy the underside of a vehicle. As a result, the drive to Yerevan was incredibly slow and long. So it was decided that my friend and colleague – an American from Azerbaijan and a new colleague from the States would meet in Tbilisi and we would all fly to Yerevan on Caucasus airways.
On the day of departure, I meet my friend and the new colleague at the airport. Have a quick bite to eat, something to drink before the flight to get to know each other and catch up. Great weather outside and we really enjoyed the time, but not wanting to miss the flight we clean up and check in. After we checked our bags, we went upstairs to go through passport control and security.
Now I am generally a nervous person about time; especially in airports. I really hate the thought of missing a flight. I fully admit that I become impatient and rather persnickety about delays, waiting in lines, etc. So when we reached passport control and had to wait 10 minutes…I’m not a happy camper.
When I finally get through passport control it is off to security. “Not a problem” I thought “I do this all the time…take change out pocket, turn off phone, no keys, etc. So I empty out my pockets and go through the metal detector to have the guard say
“Uh…you can’t take this with you” pointing to the television screen showing and x-ray of my bag.
“What? What did I forget? What is it?” I asked careening my neck to see the monitor
“This knife”
“Knife?!” I have a knife in my bag?
“Yes, this one.” She said opening my bag and pulling out a pocket knife “you can’t take this on the plane with you”
“Oh that! Well…what do I do now?”
“You have to go back downstairs and check with your luggage”
“Check it with my luggage? But my luggage has already been taken away and this is a knife, it’s really not that important to me.” The knife was not really the issue for me. I just didn’t want to go back downstairs, wait in line to check a knife in, come back up and go through passport control and security again. Time was passing quickly.
“You should give it to the airline and they will take care of it for you”
“Really, I don’t want it. I’ll give it to you as a gift”
“We can’t accept it”
“Well, is there a trash bin around? I’ll just throw it away”
“No, you need to check it in”
So looking at the clock I decided not to delay this any longer than I had to, I tell my friend that I will be right back and not to take off without me (as though this was in his power). Then I went downstairs to airline counter with my knife. After impatiently waiting another five minutes in line, I finally get to the counter
“Hi again, I was told by security that I couldn’t bring this on board” showing her the knife
“Of course not!” she gasps as though I pulled out dynamite and a timer.
“Well, it’s just a pocket knife and I forgot that I had it in my bag. Anyway, they said to give it to you”
“So you want me to check this in?”
“No not really. I mean…it’s yours if you want it…
“Oh no sir! I’ll check this in right now” scrambling for paperwork and tags for the knife. “That was DuPont, seat 23 a…”
“Seriously, it’s not THAT important…”
“Oh no. I will personally make sure that the captain has it in the cockpit with him”
“Uh...what? Look, you can GIVE it to the captain as a gift from passenger DuPont. I don’t want the silly thing. It came free with a magazine subscription.”
“Sir, rest assure that this will be safe”
“OK...ok, whatever…thanks” and shoved my “claim ticket” into my pocket.
 | |
| the knife in question |
After explaining the situation to my friend and colleague, we joked that I’d never see that knife again. As if someone in baggage claim was actually going to wait for me with a sign and my knife. “Kiss that goodbye” I thought. Well, it was one less thing for me to worry about for the trip home.
Now the flight between Tbilisi and Yerevan is only about 40 to 50 minutes, so it was a pleasant surprise to see the airline offering refreshments for the trip. Completely unexpected. I heard the stewardess going from passenger to passenger taking orders “Coffee? Tea? Cola? Coffee? Tea? Cola?” Then she comes to me and in a very loud voice says
“Here’s your knife sir” and produces the pocket knife out of her apron pocket!
Dumbfounded and shocked “uh…uh...what?” I stammered. I was expecting coffee or tea, not small arms and weaponry.
First of all, I thought about jumping up and screaming “That’s right! Now turn this plane around! We’re all going to Palestine!” but sensing that being in a plane in mid-air is probably not the best time to try out some new comedy material about weapons, thought twice about it. Secondly, if you ever want to watch your fellow passengers get whip flash as their heads spin and they leap from their seats, just say the word “knife” on a plane. Good fun. You can make new friends – like with an Air Marshal – everywhere you go.
So I sat there with eyes darting back and forth between the knife and my fellow passengers who are now sizing me up – the little man with sunglasses, slicked back dark hair and wearing a dark suit in the back of the plane being offered his knife - and thinking who will take me down first.
“Uh...yes, that would be mine. Thank you.” Slowly taking from her and in a very “showy” way as not to alert the others and then in a much louder tone for everyone to hear “and I’m just going to slip that into my coat pocket now, where it will stay for the remainder of the flight. In fact, I’ll just fasten my seat belt and sit right here. Coffee please”
So to recap. The airline wouldn’t let me take the knife onto the plane (for obvious reasons which I respect). They wanted me to check it in instead (for reasons I cannot imagine). They then returned the knife to me in mid-flight AND announced it to the entire cabin. Moreover, they didn’t even check the claim tag. The stewardess just took a chance that she was giving the knife to the right person. Very nice.
As an after note, I believe that Caucasus Airways closed (unrelated to this incident…I think) and I still have the knife which I have never traveled with again. It just sits in drawer in the bedside table.
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